Feeling stressed lately. It is different to it has been in the past. In the past 'something' would happen. Say.....an unexpected big bill with not enough money to pay for it. Or an argument, offending someone, worry, worry, worry!! I HATE it so much and now I feel it again but like I said in a different way. Like something lurking in the background. Nothing really happening that would prompt me to be stressed but yet it lingers. Like an unwelcomed guest.
Now I am trying to take deep breaths and go easier on myself. I feel in some ways it was better when I was somewhat of a hermit. I could keep on top of naps, disciplining the kids, housework. It was like something had to give and 'hanging' out with people had to be it.
I don't feel like I was taught how to be generous. I also think I am too hard on myself about it all but still I just do not want a messy house!! I see other people have messier houses but fuller 'scheduals'.
Let me clarify that I am not comparing myself to others and casting this wholly negative light on myself and I most certainly don't think my value as a person is defined by the cleanliness of my home. I also don't go to other people's homes and notice clean or tidy. I notice them!
Not sure really and can't quite put my finger on it.
Thanks to Bec and Nelle on your replies in my previous post. You were both on the money with what I was referring too. Why do you think I had a shared facebook with Ben for so long! At that stage I was so afraid of people's criticism of me. I had been quite hurt by other people's 'honesty' which was in the end nothing but unfair judgement and making me a scapegoat because I'm 'tough'. Well newsflash.....I am sensitive and tenderhearted. The bold me is true but also the element of the 'soft' side of me is often overlooked.
It is hurtful being constantly made a scapegoat but at the same time I have grown up a bit (thankfully) and now I don't mind (so much). I do long to be that 'nice girl' sometimes though but this also contradicts the me wanting to be a hermit! haha
Better feed the baby and hop him in bed followed closely by myself!
Seeking to live a simple life, learn new skills, relax, sew, create, repurpose, love, cherish and honour
2 comments:
Dont stress! Just sent you an email. Hope to catch up soon, Liz xoxo
Don't be stressed ... Just live the life you want to live ... Say what you like ... be yourself ... No need for censoring if you're being true to yourself ... I figure with my blog I write & put images up that I'd be happy with my family & friends all knowing ... the rest ... the people out there I don't know ... well I am not twisting their arm to read it! I'm just careful not to put in any info that would cause a security issue so to speak ... Just be happy being you ... as has been mentioned - work out your motivations & rest assured in your own decision making ... On your blog you can at least decide if you'd like others to view a comment ... you have that control ... FB is however a whole different world ... right now I see it as a marketing tool ... and serious waste of people's energy! So say what you like ... if you think it will cause dis-harmony & if you don't want to deal with the results then don't comment ... bit like biting your tongue ... work out when to bite when not too - that's a normal social norm I wonder when it happened that people suddenly thought that the social rules about appropriateness changed? Was it when people starting posting about when they were going to bed or what they were cooking for tea? I'd really like to yell at the world and say ... I like you as you are my friend but I really don't care to some degree & I would think they wouldn't care what I'm having for tea either ... Wasteful energy... love you lots ... glad to hear an egg has been laid ... blog about it ...inc pics please xx
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